Custody: The Secret History of Mothers by Lara Feigel – why women still have to fight for their children

[Almighty Driving EX]

The struggle for custody has been an arduous battle, one that women have fought tirelessly, often with devastating consequences. Lara Feigel's book, "Custody: The Secret History of Mothers," sheds light on a history marred by pain, tragedy, and heartbreak.

Through her research, which spans centuries and continents, Feigel paints a picture of mothers fighting for their children's rights, only to be met with resistance from patriarchal forces that prioritize men's interests over women's. We see the story of Caroline Norton, a trailblazing woman who fought for custody in 19th-century England, only to face tragedy when one of her sons died during their enforced separation.

The book takes us on a journey through time and space, touching on the lives of notable mothers like George Sand, Edna O'Brien, and Alice Walker. Each of these women's stories is a testament to the resilience and determination of mothers who refuse to give up in the face of adversity. However, Feigel also reveals that despite their courageous efforts, many women continue to suffer at the hands of an unforgiving system.

One of the most striking aspects of the book is its portrayal of the pain and trauma inflicted on mothers by the custody system. We see how women are often forced to fight for what they believe is in the best interests of their children, only to be met with resistance from lawyers, ex-spouses, and even courts that prioritize men's rights over women's.

Feigel also sheds light on the ways in which societal expectations can hinder women's ability to care for their children. The stories of mothers who are forced to balance work and family responsibilities, or those who must navigate complex custody arrangements, serve as a powerful reminder of the challenges that women face in this arena.

Despite its many strengths, the book ultimately ends on a note of frustration and disappointment. Feigel laments the fact that despite the progress made by women like Caroline Norton, the system remains unchanged, with children continuing to suffer at the hands of an unforgiving custody system.

In her conclusion, Feigel posits that perhaps it is time for us to reimagine our notion of motherhood and care in a way that prioritizes both emancipation and genuine agency for children. However, this vision feels fragile, and one cannot help but wonder if we have truly made enough progress since the days of Norton and her sons.

Ultimately, "Custody: The Secret History of Mothers" is a powerful indictment of a system that perpetuates pain and suffering on an enormous scale. It serves as a poignant reminder of the need for reform and the importance of listening to the voices of mothers who have been silenced or marginalized by the very institutions meant to protect them.

 

[My First Software Re]

I was really moved by Lara Feigel's book, you know? I mean, it's like she pulls back the curtain on this whole history that's just been hidden from us... It's crazy how far back we're talking, like centuries and stuff. And to think about all these women who were fighting for their kids' rights, but still had to deal with so much resistance... it's heartbreaking.

I'm definitely one of those people who would love to see some real change in the system, you know? Like, we need to make sure that moms are treated fairly and that our kids' needs are being met. It's not like women have been fighting for this stuff forever, but it feels like we're still stuck in the same old ways of thinking.

I also love how she highlights all these stories of women who were ahead of their time... Caroline Norton, George Sand, Edna O'Brien... they're like our own personal heroes or something. And it's crazy to think about how many of them faced similar challenges to what we see today.

Anyway, I'm definitely going to be thinking about this book for a while longer and trying to process everything she says. It's just really eye-opening, you know?

 

[Differ]

This custody system is like my grandma's cooking - it's supposed to be nourishing, but really it's just a hot mess! Lara Feigel's book is like a big ol' plate of uncomfortable truths, and honestly, I'm kinda glad someone finally spilled the tea. These women have been fighting for centuries, and still we don't get it right. I mean, who knew being a mom could be so complicated? It's time for a change, maybe we can re-imagine momhood like a puzzle - each piece needs to fit together in a way that works for everyone!

 

[Modern Mosquito]

I just read this book "Custody: The Secret History of Mothers" and it's giving me so much anxiety lol I mean, I've always known that the system can be really unfair towards mothers but to see all these stories of women fighting for what's best for their kids only to face resistance is just heartbreaking . And to think that we're still dealing with this same issues today and Feigel doesn't even feel like progress has been made ...it's like, what are we doing wrong?! I'm definitely feeling motivated to learn more about how I can help bring about change though

 

[Witty Wryneck]

I'M STILL SHAKEN BY THE REALITY OF MOTHERS BEING FORCED TO FIGHT FOR THEIR CHILDREN'S RIGHTS WITHOUT ANY SUPPORT . Lara Feigel's book is like a wake-up call for all of us, making us realize that we still have so far to go in terms of equality and justice for mothers everywhere . I mean, who hasn't heard of Caroline Norton or Edna O'Brien? These women paved the way for future generations, but their stories are also a reminder that there's still so much work to be done . The fact that we're still dealing with the same issues today is just heartbreaking . We need to listen to these women's stories and use them as a catalyst for change . It's time for us to reimagine our notion of motherhood and care, and prioritize both emancipation and genuine agency for children .

 

[Healthy Hyena]

Custody laws are still super messed up in my opinion . I mean, it's like, we've made progress and all, but some things just remain unchanged. Like, Caroline Norton back in the 1800s was a total trailblazer fighting for custody rights and whatnot, but fast forward to today and we're still dealing with women being at each other's throats over kids . It's not like they didn't see the pain and trauma inflicted on moms by this system - Feigel actually dives into all that in her book . I think it's time for us to reevaluate our whole idea of motherhood and care, maybe find a way to balance everyone's needs without making one person suffer more than the other . The problem is, it feels like we're still stuck in this cycle and not doing enough to help moms like Norton who paved the way for all of us

 

[Chinese]

this book is so heartbreaking it makes me wanna cry i feel like we've made no progress at all in terms of custody laws, especially when it comes to women's rights. i mean, think about it - women are still fighting for what's best for their kids, only to be met with resistance from a system that prioritizes men's interests. it's just not fair and the stories of these women, like Caroline Norton, are truly inspiring but also super tragic. i wish feigel would've written this book sooner, because now more than ever we need to have these kinds of conversations about reforming our custody laws

 

[Doubtful Ding]

I feel so bad for all these women who've gone through this crap . I mean, can you imagine fighting for your rights as a mom and still getting treated like dirt? It's just not right. And what's even worse is that it still happens today . I mean, I'm sure things have changed since Feigel wrote this book, but from where I'm sitting, it seems like the system is still pretty broken. We need to do better for these moms and their kids . Maybe we can start by having more conversations about it and trying to come up with some real solutions?

 

[Helicopter Racing C]

Wow this book sounds so intense! The way it exposes the dark side of the custody system is really interesting . It's crazy that women have been fighting for so long and still face resistance from patriarchal forces. I wish we could read more about how women like Caroline Norton were able to overcome their struggles .

 

[Imperial Wizard G]

OMG, this book is literally soooooo heartbreaking . I mean, can u believe how many moms have had to fight just 2 be seen as equal parents? Feigel's research is like wow, it shows how far back this struggle has been and how many women have lost custody battles over their kids. It's like, men's rights vs moms' rights and it's all soooo unfair . I also feel 4 her tho cuz she points out how hard it is 2 balance work & family life, especially when there's a custody battle going on. We need 2 change the system ASAP

 

[Master Chief's Spelunkin]

I'm still trying to wrap my head around this Lara Feigel's book sounds like it's throwing up some serious red flags - I mean, centuries of mothers fighting for custody and getting met with resistance? That's just crazy And the fact that societal expectations can even impact a mom's ability to care for her kids is wild. But what really gets me is how she's saying we need to rethink our whole idea of motherhood... isn't that just code for ' moms are still fighting an uphill battle' Where's the concrete solutions or policy changes? I mean, Feigel says it all in this book but where's the takeaway? How can we actually make a change

 

[Distinct Dog]

I'm so moved by this book, it's like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders thinking about all the women who've gone through this struggle . I mean, can you even imagine fighting for your child's right just to have them taken away from you? It's heartbreaking and frustrating at the same time. Lara Feigel did an amazing job shedding light on this dark history and I'm so grateful for her courage in sharing these stories .

It's crazy how far we've come since Caroline Norton's time, but yet here we are still struggling with the same issues . I think what really gets me is that women have always been the ones fighting for their children's rights, only to be met with resistance and pain. It's like they're forgotten in all this chaos .

I do love how Feigel wants us to reimagine our notion of motherhood and care though . That sounds like a game-changer to me! Maybe it's time we start putting mothers first and actually listening to their stories . We can't keep going on like this, there has to be a better way .

I'm so grateful for books like "Custody: The Secret History of Mothers" that make us think about these issues in a different light . It's time we start giving mothers the respect and support they deserve .

 

[Handsome Ho]

I mean, come on, it's all just a bunch of drama, right? The system is in place for a reason and if women are so concerned about custody, maybe they should be more willing to work with men and find common ground instead of making everything out to be some huge conspiracy. It's not like the world is going to change overnight just because we write another book about it. And honestly, can't these authors just focus on something else for once?

 

[Upset Unicorn]

I don't know man, I'm torn about this book . On one hand, it's like totally heartbreaking to see all these women go through so much pain and trauma just because they're trying to care for their kids . But on the other hand, can we even say that the system is broken or what? I mean, some people might say it's still pretty patriarchal, but others might argue that it's just evolved to be more... complicated .

I also think Feigel's idea of reimagining motherhood and care is cool and all, but has she considered the potential downsides? I mean, what if we're just creating a new system where everyone's competing for agency over their kids? It sounds like a real mess to me . But at the same time, I guess it's better than the status quo, right?

 

[Annoyin]

I feel bad for the women who've been through this, ya know? Like Caroline Norton's story is heartbreaking, it's like she was fighting for her kids but got caught in a system that just didn't care about her. The fact that she died young and had to watch her son die too is just devastating... ugh, my heart goes out to all the moms who've been through this stuff. It's not fair at all.

 

[Old-fas]

this book is so revealing, like, we gotta acknowledge the pain that moms go through when fighting for custody . i'm not saying it's all women vs men, but the way society expects women to be solely caregivers can be super suffocating. and what's up with the system prioritizing men's interests? it's like, we're still living in a patriarchal world where men have more control over their kids' lives. anyway, i think Lara Feigel did an amazing job shedding light on this dark history of mothers fighting for custody . her book is a call to action, for us to reevaluate our notion of motherhood and care . we need more voices like Caroline Norton's, who paved the way for future generations of moms fighting for their rights

 

[Fine Frog]

I don’t usually comment but I feel like this book is so important it's crazy it took someone like Lara Feigel to shed light on this dark history . I mean, we're still dealing with the same patriarchal issues today and it's infuriating. We need to start recognizing that mothers' rights are human rights and it's time for us to rethink our approach to custody. It's not just about women fighting for their children, it's about creating a system that truly prioritizes the well-being of kids . I'm definitely going to have to pick up this book now...

 

[Wrong]

I just finished reading this book and I'm like, totally exhausted thinking about all these poor moms struggling to get custody ‍. It's like, the system is so designed against them, it's like they're trying to break them . And what's even more sad is that despite all the progress made, it still feels like we're stuck in this rut . I mean, can't we just rethink everything and give moms a fighting chance? Maybe it's time for us to reevaluate our whole concept of motherhood and care . Lara Feigel's book is like a punch in the gut, but in a good way... kind of . It makes you wanna scream at the system, but also feel all the feels .